seriousjones:

A girl was excited for her sweet 16, and she asked her boyfriend to buy her a car. He said yes. The night of the party, he didn’t come. She was very sad. Then she found out he’d died trying to drive two cars at once to her party. Like this if you love your boyfriend.

Replace every instance of the word “office” with “orifice” for a more fun-filled life

I saw a picture of a girl with awesome tits and i thought to myself “i wish i had awesome tits” but upon further review I’ve decided I’m fine without them